In 1984 Sunil Gupta’s first long term relationship broke down shortly after he arrived in London. He had met his lover in the early 1970’s when the impact of the gay movement upon the consciousness of gay men was just gaining ground. Then, gay was good, and gay was proud. The laws against gay sex had been turned back. The definition of homosexuality as a psychiatric disorder was successfully challenged. The commercial scene and the visibility of gay men expanded to unprecedented levels. The arrival of HIV/AIDS changed all that. Queer people came under attack from the state and its various channels. The media mounted a vicious campaign to label gay men as sick and irresponsible. They were almost exclusively represented as ill; patients of some incurable disease that had been equated with their sexuality. Couples though had come into their own. Gay self-help groups encouraged a change in sexual behavior and a reduction in the number of partners. However, still without legal recognition, with the new emphasis on monogamy, with social attitudes reverting to hostility and given the invisibility of day-to-day life for gay men within relationships, being a partner in the 1980s proved to be as difficult as it had been decades ago.